dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
