i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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