That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
