Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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