We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
