I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You were trust falling into bushes
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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