whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
