Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
