yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
