my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
