used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
