Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
