Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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