I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize