Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
