I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
