Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
