At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
