Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
