I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
