i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I need to align my fucking chakras
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