Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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