what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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