We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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