it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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