i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize