The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
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