you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
