all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
