return my video game
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
