Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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