Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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