So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
