i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
