i think i have two assholes
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
