Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize