At least make sure they are 18
Why
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
