So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
