he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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