if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
