I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
