He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he puts the penis in happiness.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
