I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize