I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Houston, we have a squirter
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
