There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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