I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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