Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
