i don't like sucking hair
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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