I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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