if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
