if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
