Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i out mim tonsoeep
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
