i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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