i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
