I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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