I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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