Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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