so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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