No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
